Katie: Hey, we're Katie and Caitlin coming to you from our library living room. We are here not just as children's librarians, but as people who are parenting our own children.


Caitlin: Each week, we'll bring a new conversation about parenting with helpful resources from our library and beyond. This is Your Family, Your Library, and we're your librarians. This month, we're thinking about childcare. It is a constant worry both for I know for me and I think for you, too. And it's something that we hear about a lot from our patrons.


Katie: Yeah, absolutely. But we just want to put a disclaimer out there before we start chatting that our choices do not need to be your choices. And there's absolutely no judgment here. We're all doing our best with the health and well-being of our families in mind. So.


Caitlin: I wholly concur.


Katie: Keep that in mind as you listen.

Caitlin: I mean, for this episode and for always. 

Katie: Yes. 

Caitlin: So I know when we were thinking about what to talk about, both for this episode and for other episodes, we were talking about that safety net and what having support both local and emotional, wherever you find that, what does that look like and what does that mean? I know for me, my, the bulk of my extended family and my husband's extended family are in Indiana. So we have developed a support network that looks more like found family. It's friends, it's neighbors, It's colleagues who I guess are friends, too. How about for you?

Katie: Um, yeah, we are much the same. My dad lives in Indianapolis and my husband, Mike's mom and sister, live in Oklahoma, so we have had to develop our own group, much of it with colleagues at the library for me. And we've ended up having some really great neighbors that have become so crucial to our family. Really, it's just been, I feel like mostly my husband and I. And while I feel like it's strengthened our relationship in many ways, it's also put a lot on our relationship. Just not having that extra support network, and kind of feeling like we're like our only saviors, you know, for each other.So that's definitely been hard.

Caitlin: Yeah, it feels a little bit like looking into the void. I know after Haven was born, Devin had just gotten a new job and so he had very limited time at home and I had had a C-section, so I wasn't physically super strong. And I think the thing that really hit me that I wasn't expecting was the depression. I got really, really down and I just felt like I was at the bottom of a well and I could not get out of it. I just I felt like every day I was just looking up at this circle of light and I could see it, but I could not climb out of that hole. And it was really scary. And I felt like because my family was so far away, they didn't understand and they couldn't help. And honestly, I think it was stressful for them too, because I would talk to them on the phone and I wasn't holding back. I was like, I don't think I'm doing okay. And they were like, I don't know what to do to help you. And Devin also didn't know what to do to help me. I think it was probably the darkest point in our relationship. And I'm super glad that we found our way to the other side. I'm super glad that I figured out how to get up to that circle of light because I hated that it was super bad feeling. 

Katie: Yeah.I, I went through a similar thing after I had my second child, Edwin. That was really a hard time for me too. We had just moved to Chicago and so we really didn't know anybody. And it's hard to like, know where you are in it until you're not in it anymore. And then looking back on it and realizing it's really scary. And then I got the part-time job here at the end of the December in 2019. And honestly, that changed my life. It really did. Like, I mean, I know the pandemic happened and how it changed everyone's lives, but this group of people here has you, I mean, you've been my lifeline, and I'm just so thankful to have that. Like, I really don't know where I would be if I didn't have this place for me.

Caitlin: Yeah, I think working part time really saved me in a lot of ways, too. I was home most of the time after Haven and Desi were born. I could not justify the cost of having two kids in child care after Haven was born. So I went back to work part time and we just had babysitters come through the house. And we'll talk in a little bit about the various acrobatics that you have to do to sort of make things possible for yourself when you're in that position. But having that outside-of-the-house line where it wasn't just me and these small people that are depending on me for everything thing, and a husband who's like I mean, he literally could not do anything differently because he was, you know what it's like to start a new job. And he was, you know, an hour and a half away commute time. So I hear, you know on the, just sort of being able to get out of the house. I felt a little bit like an escape for me. Yeah. Which I think is a good segue way into talking about the benefits and the drawbacks of being both a stay at home and a working parent, because I think both of us have done both. I went back to work very quickly after Desi was born and it was really hard. I felt like that three-month window of being home with your kid after they're born is just enough time, at least for me to feel like I'm sort of getting into the rhythm of what it feels like to parent this unique person that is kind of like me, but not me. And then it's like, all right, go on back. I will say after my first day back at work, the thing that was the most notable to me was that I accomplished a whole lot. I had gotten so used to just this incremental, being able to, like, achieve like incremental things. Like I got up off the couch or I fed myself or I took a shower. Like that was a big achievement during that first three months when I was at home and then back at work, it was like, oh, nobody needs anything from me other than like this task that is relatively easy now that I had somebody literally attached to my body.

Katie: Yeah, I know that feeling. Like when I started here at Skokie, you know, I had been out of the workforce for a few years, and just knowing that I had my toes back in it, because that was a really huge concern of mine, like, am I ever going to be able to find a place that's going to feel good for me again? Like, I mean, I had worked in New York before, I had worked in Indianapolis, but I had not yet worked in the Chicago area. So it was just it was all brand new. It was intimidating. But I would say mostly it was just it was exciting, like a really good feeling.

Caitlin: I totally get that. I totally agree. I mean, it's like you walk out the door and you're like, maybe I'm going to disappoint somebody at work, or maybe I'm going to miss a deadline, but I'm probably not going to like, cause them an entire adulthood worth of therapy. Like, probably, I don't know. 

Katie: That's happened,right?


Caitlin: Right. The stakes, the stakes don't feel quite as high, which is nice.

Katie: Yeah.

Caitlin: I wonder if you feel this way, too. So I identify as a hard introvert, which is funny because I'm pretty socially friendly, but I felt so physically touched out after a while. Like I love staying at home with my kids. I regret nothing. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but the amount of the physical touching, after a while I was like, Oh, I need to be just in my own body.

Katie: I mean, it just feels like you can't have any space for yourself.

Caitlin: Because you can't. You really can't. So I was reading a lot about benefits and drawbacks to being a stay-at-home and being a working parent. I know that no matter what people decide, it is a really difficult decision and it doesn't for me anyway. What I was thinking about, what to do there didn't feel like there was a right answer. It kind of felt like every answer was wrong. Did you feel that way too?

Katie: Yeah. So I was a caregiver for my mom who had Alzheimer's. She had early onset Alzheimer's. So my husband and I moved from New York to Indianapolis so that I could help my dad take care of her. And I had Orson in 2014, and then my mom passed away at the end of 2015, just when after Orson had turned one. And that was a really difficult time for me because I feel like, you know, that weird juggling of like learning how to take care of this tiny person, but also like not having my mom be able to be there to help take care of me or like kind of guide me through that process. It was really difficult for me. So I would say my decision to stay at home with Orson really stemmed from my loss of her. And then on top of that, my husband lost his job. And then he found that job in Chicago. So we ended up moving here. So it was just like all these giant life moves happening. 

Caitlin: In the course of, like, a year? 

Katie: Yeah.

Caitlin: Oh, my gosh, Katie.

Katie: So for me, it felt like all of those things were out of control, out of my control. And so that me being able to make the choice to stay at home with Orson was one thing that I was able to control, because I really am not sure that at that point I could have handed him over to somebody and like felt okay because I wasn't okay.

Caitlin: Oh yeah.

Katie: So I mean, financially, it, you know, it was hard. You know, we made the choice to live on one income. And, you know, I mean, we're very lucky that we could even do that. You know, I know a lot of people can't even make that work. So I understand the privilege in that, too. But for a long time, I kind of felt like I wasn't doing enough for like, maybe I was like, being too easy on myself. And it's hard to ever feel like you're making the right choice or to feel like you're not setting yourself up for disaster. Because I guess for me, I felt like if I'm making this choice to step away, am I ever going to be able to step back in? And luckily I was able to and, you know, now I feel extremely lucky that I have a full time position again as a librarian. But it took a long time to get back here and it wasn't easy. It feels good now, but, you know, it's been a long road. So, you know, I guess what I'm trying to say is tahat I think families there are always going to be like different things that factor into your decisions, some that people will know about and some that people will not know about. And you just have to focus on the health and the wellbeing of yourself first and foremost, and your family to make the right choice for you and not let what other people are doing or what other people are saying to you influence what you feel is best.

Caitlin: Yeah, and it's sad too that even in the midst of all of that chaos when like, you know in your bones that the choice that you're making is the right choice, there's still that self-doubt. But I remember feeling something really similar when I was at the bottom of that well, after Haven was born, financially, it was really, really hard. And things in my marriage got really, really hard and I felt really broken and I felt like it was all my fault. And I felt like because it was all my fault, I didn't deserve to feel bad. I didn't deserve to feel as bad as I felt because it was a decision that I had made. I had purposefully said, you know, it was really hard on me to go back to work after Desi was born, and I sort of used the two-children-in-childcare-income thing as my my crowbar to like, stay home. But I really wanted to I really wanted to stay home. And the whole time I just kept thinking about this huge cost and you know, what a burden I had put on both myself and my family. And I felt so bad, but I felt like it was my fault; I had made that decision. 

Katie: And isn't that like isn't that just crazy? Because, it's like you're making these choices because you want to do better for yourself and your family, but then you can't like fully enjoy, you know, it's really hard to like, make the most of those moments because you're I mean, it's just the cycle of like, you know, hating yourself or, you know, feeling like feeling disgruntled with the decisions that you've made. Even though they're good decisions.

Caitlin: It was a good decision. I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't. So we've talked a little bit about the choices that we made, but let's talk about how staying home benefited our-our families in our situations, because we talked about what a hard decision it was and how we doubted ourselves. But there really were some big upsides, at least for me. I stayed at home until, I worked, I worked very part time. So I consider myself a stay-at-home parent even though I did kind of still have my toes in the water. I was doing some storytimes at Glencoe Public Library, but I will say that creatively it was a really fun time for me. It was really fun watching my kids interact with each other and sort of riff off of each other and grow together. And I really enjoyed experiencing that with them. And I also enjoyed as much as it was hard having a child like attached to me all the time. I also loved it and I miss it sometimes. It's like a ghost limb, right? It's like I can still feel a baby in a front pack. And I So when I was reading a little bit about the benefits of being a stay-at-home parent versus a working parent, and honestly, it's like a total wash. Whatever you do, I'm going to go ahead and say whatever you do, it is the right thing to do, not, there are nothing but bad choices, which is kind of what I felt like in the beginning, like, oh, if I go back, it's blah blah blah. If I stay, it's blah, blah, blah. Now whatever you do, it is the right decision. But I was really excited to see that there really are some social-emotional benefits to being a stay-at-home parent. And there there was a study that was done in 2014 which we will link in the show notes that talks about how in terms of school readiness, on a social-emotional level, kids that are from a home in which a parent it does not have to be a mom, a parent stayed home. They tend to be a little bit more secure and a little bit less nervous about things and also a little bit more confident, which I actually thought was kind of interesting because what I witnessed when I was bringing Desi into school for the first time, and obviously I am not a child behavioral psychologist or scientist, but anecdotally it seemed like the kids who were with stay at home families were a little bit more cautious about going into the classrooms, And the kids that were used to going to preschool and daycare were like strutting in there, like they already knew what was what. But I wonder if maybe that's a daycare versus preschool thing. Maybe we're talking about like very early, like attachment parenting. Yeah, I don't know.

Katie: Orson definitely  was like I'm here! I mean, I still remember this picture he had. He was holding up, so he was three when he started preschool, and he was holding up this little chalkboard. And it said, you know, my first day of school, and he's just like, got this cheese smile on it.  And he had like this white blond hair. It was just the cutest thing. He he was just like, hi I'm Orson! And the teachers were like, I mean, has he been to daycares like, no. And they're like, huh. But Orson's just Orson.

Caitlin: Orson and that 2014 study against the world.

Katie: I feel like, well, Haven was the same.

Caitlin: Haven was the same. Yep. Haven is definitely like walking in like a boss. Like Desi, so my, my experience with Desi was the opposite. And maybe this is proving the study because he was a preschool/daycare kid, and so I dropped him off at kindergarten. And I think both of our hearts just popped out of our chests and fell on the floor. It was so hard. And I'm going to call out Ms. Zimny from Madison District 69 right now because she was a game changer. I don't think that I could have physically left that building if Ms. Zimny hadn't walked up to Desi and asked him if he wanted to help her get some paper towels from the supply room. And my guy is a helper and he, I don't know how she knew, but she saw him. She saw me. I know she saw me. And she clocked us both. And I just watched him put his little hand in hers and she walked away and I knew it was going to be okay. And I also knew that my heart was going to be okay, even though it was in 50 billion pieces right at that moment.

Katie: Your heart was safe.

Caitlin: I love her forever.

Katie: Man, teachers know.

Caitlin: They know! 

Katie: They know. They see what's happening and they come to the rescue. Honestly.

Caitlin: And I wanted to point out that there are some really important benefits to having a working parent, a working mother in the home specifically. I think you know, we live in the patriarchy and we know that most of the time men are the ones that are expected to be the breadwinner. But I read an article in The New York Times that said, and I'm going to quote it in a new study of 50,000 adults in 25 countries, daughters of working mothers completed more years of education, were more likely to be employed in in supervisory roles and earned higher incomes. Having a working mother didn't influence the careers of sons, which researchers said was unsurprising because men were generally expected to work. But sons of working mothers did spend more time on childcare and housework, which I think is every bit as important as the former. I think having that balanced gender dynamic is vital and you found a really good quote, too, right?

Katie: Yeah, I think it's actually from the same article, but it says, quote, having a working mother is as close to a silver bullet as you can find in terms of helping reduce gender inequalities both in the workplace and at home. 

Caitlin: I love that.

Katie: Which I thought was really interesting. I think it's also hard for people to find affordable childcare. One thing that stood out to me in the Chalkbeat Chicago article, which we'll also link to in the show notes, it said, quote, The average annual cost of center based care for an infant in Illinois has reached $13,474, which is a staggering 52% of the median income of a single-parent family in the state, and nearly 15% of the state's median married-couples income. Another quote is that Illinois was among the least affordable of all states for the cost of three months of summer care.

Caitlin: Yeah, we're in the top ten. I will say. I think paying those exorbitant preschool prices, which when I look back, it seems like impossible that we managed to do it because once I started, when Haven was three, she started going to preschool and it was so expensive that I am now not intimidated by having college tuitions. I was thinking about like, well, we did it for, you know, however many years Haven and Daisy were in preschool. So I guess we'll do it again. It'll be fine. It's fine. Nothing needs to change. Yeah, but I think that notwithstanding, I mean, that is like a sisyphean problem in and of itself, like how we can, you know, like how much of my income is actually going to pay for this thing that is, you know, well, it does have all these benefits that are quantifiable. You can actually look at them. In fact, one of the articles that will link has a pros and cons list, so you can actually see them all laid out. But how do you find a care center? One of the problems that I have as a human is, like I said earlier in this conversation, it's really hard for me to ask people for help and also to ask for what I need. And I think when especially for Desi, when he was my first and I felt so attached to him and so, what's the right word? I was really invested. I was so invested in like his care that putting him in a daycare and trusting somebody else's parenting style and caregiving style and like not being able to be there and say like, no, this is not going to work. And here's why that's so terrifying. It's, I mean.

Katie: That's terrifying for me.

Caitlin: Right? And it's like, what do you, you know, they're baby, they can't tell you what they need, but, you know, because you feel it and also because you're used to whatever rhythms that they have. So I knew that no matter how hard they tried, Cry it Out was not going to work for my kid. It probably would have worked for Haven, but not for Desi. And the other thing that was really scary is sometimes like when Desi went to a center based preschool, they had a rule that said that he had to be potty trained before he could go. So we spent a lot of time working on that. And he is the kind of kid that you think is never, ever, ever going to pick up whatever skill it is that you need him to have. It's like you'll go through it and then he'll be like, oh yeah, I got it. And then he does not got it. And then it's like the day, I think it was like three days before he had to start. I mean, I was literally like freaking out, like I could feel my heart racing in my chest. Like I'm not going to be able to accept this full time job because my kid is not potty trained. I don't know what I'm going to do. With no preamble, with no sense of occasion, he just started going to the bathroom and this is how my child is. It is like, I don't know why, you know, he's 12 now and it's he still does stuff like this where it's like, this is never going to happen. And then all of a sudden he's doing it like he never wasn't doing it.

Katie: Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about with the potty training. It's like I put so much like in. I was just, like, dreading it. Dreading, dreading, dreading, dreading. And is just like, this is so hard. And then, like, after it's done, you're like, what was I spending, like, all this time fretting about this thing that was like, just going to happen? I mean, it's going to happen.

Caitlin: I know. I know exactly what you mean. I, I think about that all the time. It's like, just let it happen. It's going to be fine. But you can't. At least I can't. I'm in the moment and I'm like, I don't know. My heart's going to explode. Like.

Katie: Well, my kids still can't blow their nose. So I don't that's literally like one thing my husband and I are like, of all things like, we cannot teach our kids how to blow their nose. I'm like, I don't know what to say anymore.

Caitlin: I can send Desi in, 'cause he's the world's loudest nose blower, so.

Katie: Tips, tips anyone?

Caitlin: Well, here's how you maximize the acoustics. Go in a room that echoes, make sure there's lots of people in it and then honk! See how many people you can upset. That seems to be Desi's game.

Katie: Oh, my gosh.

Caitlin: I promise I will not send him your way. You don't want that in your life.

Katie: No, I actually think it would be good for them. So I think that maybe they would actually get it. They learned from Desi. I don't know.

Caitlin: There's that like the nose-blowing version of like, what was that like 1980s? Like where the hardened criminals would come in the classroom and like, if you kids don't shape up.

Katie: Mister T.

Caitlin: Oh, that would be cool if Mister T came in and taught Orson to blow his nose. I pity the fool.

Katie: Yeah, I'm like, I taught you how to drink from a straw. I taught you how to tie your shoes, brush your teeth, go to the bathroom. Got this one thing hanging over us forever, so.

Caitlin: You know that once you check that box, you're going to feel so good.

Katie: Yeah. One day it's just going to happen.

Caitlin: Yeah. When I look back, I don't quite know how I got through it. I don't quite know how you got through it. Um, somehow we did. And I would like it to not be so hard. I would like that to be easier for people. And one of the things that has been really nice about working specifically at this library is how connected we are to people in the community that can help make it better. And I'm really excited because right after this break, we have somebody on here who is going to talk to us about ways that it might feel a little bit better. 

Katie:Yes.

Caitlin: Reading with your child is not only an opportunity to bond, it also sets them up for future success. Reading a thousand books before kindergarten helps prepare your children for school, and a lifetime of learning. With Grow a Reader, we'll help you develop the habit of reading every day and tackle a thousand books in no time. Find the sign-up in our show notes.

Katie: Hi. Welcome back. We are here with Holly Jin, a newly minted community engagement superstar and also the chair of the Early Childhood Alliance.

Holly: Thanks for having me on. I am a community engagement supervisor at Skokie Public Library. It happens to be the library where I grew up. And I also like to say I grew up as a children's librarian in the Youth Services Department. But the last ten years I've had the privilege of working in Community Engagement, where we do outreach in the community, those typical library, awesome services and programs. But we also dig a little deeper in engaging with partners and people that can help develop the services and resources needed to help grow a stronger Skokie.

Caitlin: Yeah, if you're listening to this and you live in in Skokie and you have a little bitty or you have had a little bitty, you have probably met Holly or seen Holly around. She's everywhere and she knows everything. So one of the reasons why I was really excited to talk to you today is because we knew that we were talking about going back to work and childcare and finding community and finding resources and finding that village. And for me, you were an integral part of that community in that village when I first started working at Skokie Library because I hadn't solidified my child care plans with Haven yet for the first month that I started working here at Skokie, we had this magical human watching her, nannying for us, and she stayed for a little over a month. And during that time I was doing this like, panicked like, I have to find I have to find something full time for Haven. And I didn't know what to do. And I was I had not had a great experience with finding childcare for Desi when he was the same age. And so I was really desperate. And I sat down at the desk with you one day and I just sort of barfed out how scared I was. And you were so calm and you were so generous with your time and with the connections that you had. And without being without, swaying my decision in any way, without telling me what to do, you really concisely told me what was around in Skokie. You let me know that there are different feels to different centers. Because that's important. Because everybody parents different and every kid is different. And you sort of pointed me towards the resources that I needed to find in order to feel like it was humanly possible for me to go back to work. And I'm forever grateful for that, Holly. And I know I'm not the only person in the library for whom you have done that. I know that for a fact.

Holly: Thank you for sharing that story. It's definitely, well, It feels good. It's rewarding because you're an amazing person. I want you to feel supported. But also I've been listening to your conversation and I'm probably the only one in the room that does not have children. And so, well, I can't personally relate to the experiences that you've had. I, it is an honor to be able to support, and because I've worked at the library for over 23 years, it's the long -term relationships that I've been able to develop with early learning program directors, with family child care center directors, and with, with coworkers, with community members. And it's your experiences and and the feedback that I get that just fills in some of the spaces or gaps and there's information and then there's contextual information. And so I like to say that by going off of your comment that it takes a village, I think that really only happens when we're in relationship, so.

Caitlin: Katie and I talked about it a little bit in our last episode because you have this mind-blowingly awesome calendar year, but I think we're hoping that you can talk a little bit about what the ECA is, what its role in Skokie is, and what you do with it.

Holly: Yeah, the Niles Township Early Childhood Alliance is a collaboration of over 45 organizations that believe in the importance of supporting families with young children to help them reach their potential. And that means both the children and the caregivers. So we do that by advocating and coordinating comprehensive, community-based support that promote equity and honor strength and diversity. So what that means is, you know, you were talking about the difficulty maybe of making the decision to stay home or to go to work to find a program. What kind of programs are there? We want to help people answer these questions by making a simpler system, right? So coordinating the options that are out there and realizing that each family has its own strengths and is diverse, that their needs are different. They may be different for each child, realizing that there's no cookie cutter, one size fits all for each family. But we want to be aware of the services to work together and to connect the families to the programs that are right for them. The reason why we want to do this is because while life is hard, parenting is hard. Getting through day to day is hard. And, you know, you had touched on mental health earlier, and that really is part of the ECA's vision as well. We see a future where all young children and their caregivers have healthy relationships, safe environments, and high quality learning experiences. So even though it's called the Niles Township Early Childhood Alliance, early childhood is almost misnomer because the kids don't exist on their own right. There's needs to always be adults around them. And so we want to make sure that the alliance is supporting children and their development as well as parent and caregiver need. And one of the things that we're working on right now is now that we have the structure of the alliance down, really, how do we reach out to the parents and become a parent-led organization? There's a phrase from disability rights activism, nothing about us, without us. And if you think that applies to any social justice, any assistance, any service is, the organization's can't determine what the need is and arrange things to meet the need if we're not talking with people that are actually impacts. So we're very excited about this season of the Early Childhood Alliance, which really just kicked off about four years ago, where we have family liaisons engaged in the work and families themselves that are giving us feedback as to what type of events they'd like to see, what kind of needs they have.

Caitlin: How are you finding the families?

Holly: We are lucky to have two full-time employees now at the Early Childhood Alliance, Tina and Astrid. Tina is our executive director, so she keeps the operations going. And Astrid Suarez is a master of collective impact. She has multiple degrees in the area. She describes herself as an immigrant herself. And because, especially in Skokie, we have such a beautiful, beautifully diverse group of immigrants, refugees, asylum seekers, Astrid is able to share her own experience, as well as the experience of five family liaisons who speak a total of eight languages. And when you can share an experience with someone, I think it breaks down some of those barriers. And you can speak the language of your neighbor and you can build a trusted relationship. And so without Astrid and her team, we would probably still be stuck in an organizational collaboration. But this is really going to be community based. And so, Astrid and their team will stop by places of worship, the grocery stores, the parks, the early learning programs, and just talk with parents about what they need. They'll plan fun programs such as an Earth Month activity at Emily Oaks Nature Center or a free day at the Exploratorium at the Skokie Park District, and really try to connect families and treat them to an opportunity that they may not have known about previously or maybe couldn't afford, and meet them there with a big smile and warmth, maybe a package of diapers and wipes, or a withdrawn library for keeps. And just build those connections and talk to the parents while the kids are having fun, and then they'll continue that to build that engagement by inviting families to meet biweekly with those family liaisons that help in the translation of whatever the conversation topic is. And they happen to meet at Skokie Public Library.

Katie: Does the ECA have a physical location?

Holly: We don't. We need one. We've realized in the last months we need one badly. But the website, we'll have in the show notes, the ECA's website is Niles Township dot org. And there's an email to get in touch with someone there. But I think the best way to get in touch with Astrid and to possibly connect with this family engagement group would be to email Astrid Suarez and we will have her contact information in the show notes.

Caitlin: How long has that been around?

Holly: Well, we started with a dream in probably 2017. Kicked off as a formal organization with a charter in 2019. The ECA is funded by grants. It is true that more support and organization is needed in Illinois for early childhood, but thankfully there is more money flowing through the federal government. Through the state government. The governor is very committed to making Illinois the best place to raise a child. And likewise, the ECA wants to see Niles Township to be the best place in Illinois to raise a child. Some of the work that Astrid and the team are doing is not just connecting with families, but walking hand-in-hand with them to walk them through this process that you were talking about, of understanding the landscape, making the decisions what's right for you. Maybe it's not to put your child in a full-day program, but to benefit from going to library storytimes. Maybe a preschool program is needed, but with some wraparound support either an hours before or after to extend the day. Maybe there is a program in the area that families would qualify for because of their current situations. Navigating early childhood in Illinois is extremely difficult. There is not a website that explains what the types of programs are. There is not a website that explains where programs are located, how much they are, which ones have financial aid, what the hours are. It is up to every community, and libraries are often part of creating some sort of online or print directory, maybe even having an annual preschool fair, that families can come and meet those program directors. But if you don't make that event on that Saturday in January, then how do how do you know where to go? And a lot of people, I think, will reach out to their friends, will jump out on Facebook and say, what is your experience here and there and everywhere? But wouldn't it be so much better if there was a specialist and a kind friend, and the village that can walk beside you, speaking from experience, having the empathy, speaking your language, understanding your situation? And so the family liaisons of the ECA are learning the system here in Skokie. They're learning the difference between family child care, a community based center experience, a public preschool experience, or home visiting for babies and toddlers. Maybe mom or dad has decided to stay home, but would like some support and understanding child development and understanding, addressing mental health, knowing where supports are, how to read a book to a baby. All of those topics come into a home-visiting program. So when we know those programs availability, then we have a menu that we can present to families. And then the next line is understanding where maybe the financial assistance is. And so there are a couple of programs where if families qualify, usually because of living within a certain federal poverty line or experiencing a challenge such as immigration or incarceration, having a child with a disability, it's hard enough to raise a child if it was in a bubble. But there's so many other factors. And so I, I am happy that some of the funding allows for people within those situations to enroll their child in a program at a reduced cost or even free. So we want the Early Childhood Alliance is that one door where people can walk in and somebody will work hand-in-hand with you through the process to help apply for and find the right program for your family.

Caitlin: I think is a salient point to recognize, as I think you did, that this isn't easy for anybody. And if you don't have access to those resources and you don't know how to find them, it can feel insurmountable. And so I think it's amazing that you all are putting this together and doing the work on the back end so that somebody that comes along, that is experiencing all the things that you mentioned or any even one of the things that you mentioned, we might get to untangle all one knot. I mean, that is a gift. That is truly a beautiful thing.

Katie: And the fact that all this information that you've just talked about is distilled into a website. And I know it's like obviously a living thing. So it's going to continue to be updated. But the fact that that does exist for our community, it's amazing. I mean, what if that could exist in every community?

Holly: Well, I'm glad you mentioned that, Katie, because there's actually one other website to mention that will put it in the show notes. It's called Say Yes to Child Care. And there's, I had mentioned that that Illinois is increasing funding for early childhood. And one of the things they want to do is make more accessible the child care assistance program. And that is a program that many might qualify for some assistance like. So a certain amount of money per month to apply to child care programs. And the Say Yes to Child Care website is a campaign managed by our friends in Morton Grove who own Kids Academy, and they have the responsibility to promote the Child Care Assistance program throughout all of North Cook County. And so right now on their website is information about the Child Care Assistance program, as well as directions on how to complete the applications. The videos on the Say Yes to Child Care website are, have been created in multiple languages. And so even if the application is only in English, there's assistance there in many languages to make that application more accessible. So you were mentioning Katie, wouldn't it be great if every community there was this assistance and that is our hope. There is also grant funding for collaborations such as the Early Childhood Alliance through state funds called Birth to Five Illinois. And so that gave the ECA a bit of a head start and we hope that that funding will continue and then maybe in the future will leave a legacy as well.

Katie: Absolutely.

Caitlin: That's so cool.

Katie: Before we had talked about how expensive child care can be for families, specifically in Illinois. But what happens once families come out of the early childhood point in their lives? What do they do beyond that? How do they get access to resources, financial resources?

Caitlin: Right. And what happens when the need is not just financial? I think that's another question that a lot of patrons have when they come to the library.

Holly: We live in a community that is rich with resources. It's really just a matter of connecting families to the resources. The hardest part is when children are not in school because it's an unstructured time of your life with, with the children. You go to the doctor regularly and there are probably other places that you go regularly. But until they're in a school setting and there's an entire support structure around them, I think those first five years are very difficult. So the ECA is working towards supporting, you know, other areas such as mental health. That's been a request of the parents and the family engagement group and we hope to work and connect and work with other organizations that are already doing that work. Turning Point is a member of the ECA, and so we were just talking the other day about how to provide mental health support for families, even just to get comfortable talking about mental health. What is it? What is anxiety? What is depression? What are suicidal tendencies or thoughts? Like just to make it normal, to talk about such things. And if we can do that as adults, then hopefully we can talk with children too. So more and more partnership and developing more and more programs. But of course, sometimes these might cost. And so I wanted to make sure that I mentioned the ECA in partnership with LAN41, which is a coalition of social service providers, is able to offer emergency funds to families in need. It's supported by DCSF office and there is a application on the ECA's website. So Niles Township ECA dot org. We named them the Angelo Millitello Emergency Fund after the gentleman who helped us acquire this funding, and any family with young children in need, even if the need is for an older child and the family can apply for these funds once a year. They can apply for support for after school programs, health deductibles, back to school supplies or clothing, emergency payment of utility bills, whatever it is that, you know, hopefully we can do to help families in their time of crisis or in need. There are funds available, and we would just ask that any families who would want to apply would work with maybe a program director that their child is already involved in or a school social worker, or just contact the ECA directly so that we can help them work through the application.

Caitlin: That's awesome. Holly, thank you so much for sitting down and talking with us. I know I for one, love seeing how your brain works and cracking it open to see what all the treasure is in there. I'm really grateful to you in all of the capacities, and I'm really glad that you could be here today at This cannot be the last time.

Katie: Want to learn more about how the library can support your family? Check out our newly updated Families page linked in our show notes.

Caitlin: Well, I don't know about you, but my brain is completely full of all of the really exciting things that's happening over at the ECA.

Katie: Me too.

Caitlin: I had no idea about all of the things that they're doing right now, and I'm, I'm excited to put it into practice. I think our community needs it. I know how much work that is. I mean, if one person finds it challenging to find the resources and put them together and figure out what needs to go into them in order to make them work, I can't imagine juggling all of the different resources. So I know how much work that committee is doing and it is incredible. And I think it's going to be incredibly meaningful. So I'm really excited. I know they're just a baby alliance.

Katie: I mean, the heart and the love and the passion that Holly brings every day here and everyone else on the ECA. It fills my cup. Like it's just so cool to be around that, and to see people living their passion like that. I mean, just any time Holly talks about helping families and like, you know what she does in her role here at the library, but also as chair of the alliance, you know, you just feel feel the passion like oozing from her. It's very inspiring.

Caitlin: It's big. I joked earlier about, you know, I go to work in and nobody's going to need you know, an adulthood full of therapy to deal with whatever mistakes I've made. But this is one of those places where I feel like if I don't point people in the right direction, it actually does have an impact. So I'm grateful to have that website as a resource, and I think it's going to benefit not just our community but us.

Katie: Well, It goes also back to what we were talking about is like how hard it is to say what you need and to ask for it. And like acknowledging that for them to come up and ask us that information, like for some people that's just not an easy thing to do.

Caitlin: Oh, it sure isn't.

Katie: And you know, to be able to lead them somewhere and know that they're going to find the answers and find the assistance that they need. Yeah. I mean, like I said to Holly, I mean, it just feels so good.

Caitlin: Which is good. And speaking of privilege and space, let's talk a little bit about what's good. What's good, Katie?

Katie: I don't know. There's a lot good, I feel like. But one thing in particular that happened this week is that my husband and I were able to go to a movie in the middle of the day. 

Caitlin: What, what, what?

Katie: I know. I was off on Monday. And then my oldest, Orson, was at camp, it's his first day of summer camp, and Edwin is finishing up preschool this week. So it almost felt like we were playing hooky, but we weren't, you know, just because it's like it never happens. But we saw "Past Lives." Oh, it was so good. So just to summarize real quick, it's basically about this girl and boy who grow up in Seoul, Korea, together. And then when they're 12, she moves away and immigrates to Canada with her family. And then they meet, like in a couple of other points in their lives. But it talks about an idea in Korean called 'in-yun,' which is like fate or providence, and how like people connect in their lives or like kind of brush past each other in their lives. It was so good. It was definitely like ugly crying at the end. I highly recommend it.

Caitlin: I want to see.

Katie: It. It's really good. How about you?

Caitlin: And I also went to a movie this month we saw "Into the Spider-verse," and Spider-Man is my favorite superhero and Miles Morales is my favorite iteration of Spider-Man. And I thought that nothing could top the first Spider-verse movie. I don't know if it was better, but it exceeded my expectations, which were a little bit lower than the first spider-verse and it was thrilling. The art was amazing. It was worth seeing in the theater. I'm so glad we went. But I want to say that what's really been bringing me life this month and last month, we have been doing a lot of outreach work and going into the schools and hyping our summer reading programs and talking about the books for the book list that we've chosen. And it is really exhausting and really challenging and I love every minute of it. It is the best. I love it when kids come into the library and they remember me, and they remember that they've seen me. We have a Summer Reading video that we made, and in the video there are three people on my committee shout out to Mandy, Melissa, and Maria, and then there's me, Caitlin, and they say, I'm the only one that missed the m-name and more than one kid has since pointed at me and said, you missed the m-name memo and I love it, it is a delight. It's that period when I feel like I cannot catch by breath and that I'm just bone-wary, it's almost over. I think I've got about one more week of it. And I'm looking forward to the rubbery done feeling.

Katie: The Gumby. 

Caitlin: Yes, I'm really looking forward to that, but in the best of all possible ways, like I truly love this time of the year, it hurts.

Katie: It hurts so good.

Caitlin: It hurts so good. And that is also an Indiana Superhero that you have taken us back to. 'The Coug.'

Katie: What? Oh, my God.

Caitlin: It hurts to good, come on baby...

Katie: Sorry everyone, I forgot my roots for a second. 

Caitlin: You can take the girl out of Indiana, but you cannot take the Indiana girl. And you cannot take the Coug out of Indiana, even if he takes the Coug out of his own name.

Katie: This has been Katie and Caitlin with Your Family, Your Library, produced by Amber Hayes and sound-engineered by Paul Knutson. Also an important note for our listeners. The podcast app Stitcher is discontinuing its services in August. So if you listen to our podcast on Stitcher, we recommend that you download other platforms like Apple, Google, or Spotify.

Caitlin: Thank you so much for sticking with us for all these episodes. We love hanging out with you in our library living room. Please remember to keep in touch with us. We would love to hear from you. You can email us at podcast at Skokie Library Info.